Off The Wagon

Yep, it's true I have not exercised and have eaten Christmas cookies ans See's candy without regard to my ususal "all things in moderation" rule.

I am not waiting until January first to start a diet, I'm getting back on track right now! Back to better food choices, smaller portions, lots of water, and yes, exercise!

A 5 Year Old's Awareness

Last night we were at a Christmas clelebration in Old Town Auburn. Some local businessmen had snow trucked in to cover a sloping street for sledding, there was a bon fire in the center of the party, live music, kettle-corn, carolers, vendors, and of course, Santa Claus. Mason, Dave, and I went to tell Santa what we all wanted for Christmas and when it was time to leave, Santa asked Mason a question. Mason opened his eyes really wide, gave Santa a sort-of sideways look and said, "Those chimneys are gett'n smaller and smaller" all while nodding his head in a way that implied Santa should understand what he was trying to say. Santa looked completely perplexed so I leaned down and asked Santa what it was he asked Mason. He told me he asked him if he would be leaving cookies and milk out on Christmas eve. Suddenly Santa got it! He started to laugh, gave Mason a hug and thanked him for being concerned with his diet and health. As we walked away, we could hear the laughter from Santa and his elves as Dave and I were doing our share of chuckling as well.

It's A My Birth-Day!

Today is my birthday and first thing this morning, after my sweetie made me coffee, this question was posed, "What if the rest of your life was the best of your life?" This got me thinking, yeah, what if?

What if I let go of this idea that I could have my twenty-something body back? Would I worry less about the Christmas cookie I ate and enjoy my walks more?

What if I looked at all the small changes I've made over the last three years and see the cumulative effects on my overall health? I've stopped drinking soda, nearly eliminated mayonnaise from my diet, generally speaking, eat my meals from a salad plate to help control my portions.

What if I focused on my physical strengths even if some days that focus will be on the fact that I have all my limbs and even though the might hurt, they still work? Better yet, I could be more proactive in lovingly strengthening them without falling back into the pressure cooker I create to be a twenty-something again.

For some reason milestones work for me to take action that sticks. Today is my birthday and I will start my day off by making a list of the stuff I need to finish for Christmas, and the stuff I want to do for me, for the long term, to make the rest of my life be the best of my life!

What Do You Do?

What do you do when you you just don't want to get out and exercise? I know that as a woman we have hormonal monthly issues that impact our moods and motivation. This month it has been so hard to stay on track and exercise but I've managed to do it. I'm taking the win. What do you do when you just don't feel like working out?

I'm kind of excited to weigh in next week because I feel like my body is changing and I'm losing some weight. I may weigh myself tomorrow just because I can't wait!

In spite of my heavy cycle, I did go hike today and was diligent on my diet!

December First

I'm still on track! I didn't overeat for Thanksgiving (and we had two!), and I worked out. I'm not weighing in today because it's that time of the month so I'll check in next week and hopefully numbers are down.

On a good note, we hiked yesterday along a trail that I can actually run and my companions seemed to work a bit harder than I needed to. It certainly doesn't speak to them at all (their fit, too), it just speaks to the fact that my work outs are working. I needed that validation!

Still in the Game!

I worked out today. Dave and I both missed yesterday in all the hustle-bustle of our day. We have committed to working out tomorrow before we leave for San Jose to celebrate Thanksgiving with Dave's family. Have a wonderful holiday and I'll check back in on Friday.

Still In The Game!

So I missed my goal of seven out of seven by one. I exercised six out of seven days but have stayed on track since. I know many would say that exercising everyday is too much, but for me, it's about routine. If I make it a point to do "something" everyday, it becomes part of my routine and not so much something I have to plan to do.

On another note, I started eating on the 40-30-30 program called The Formula. This is the program that The Zone was based on and so far it looks very sound, practical in terms of everyday meals, and there's plenty to eat. The initial phase is a 21 day time frame. I'll let you know. Yesterday I weighed 176 and took my measurements.

I Missed One

I missed day five but did my Slim in 6 DVD yesterday (lots of squats!), and as soon as I finish this post, I'm going for my walk run. I'll do two miles today and then I'll walk another two while Cris and I go to the Mandarin Festival. And just for the record, when I walk/run, I always do push-ups, sit-ups, and several reps of some kind of resistance. That makes me 6 out of 7. I'll take the win!

Day Four? Check!

Yay! I made it through my fourth workout. I know, this seems like no big deal, but to me, it's huge. I added a leg to my trek, am on my second day of push ups, and have continued my ab work. I'm sore, but I'm more than half way to day seven!

Pictures From 1999-2000

California State Fair 2000

These pictures represent a comfortable size 8 and a loose size 10.

A photo shoot in 1999

In Yosemite with Dave - 1999

In Vacaville - 2000

At the Truckee River with Mike 1999

3 FOR 3!

I went running yesterday and again today. I'm still struggling with my battle with sugar but overall I'm making better food choices. I'm trying to focus more on my portions and drinking more water instead of worrying about every little aspect of what I eat.

My goal for now is to do my run for a full seven days. Four more to go.

Today I-Ran, Tomorrow The World!

I did it, I went running. I did intervals but ended up running more than I had planned (and thoguth I could). Hopefully I can keep it up and start feeling good again. Oh, and I didn't forget the 1999 photos, I'll post them this week.

As I Blow The Dust Off This Blog!

It's been far too long since I posted here. Frankly, the broken finger really set me back, but even as I write the words it feels like an excuse. Even with the pain and suffering, I could still have walked and stuck to a low calorie diet. I didn't.

I have started back into exercise and today I got a wake up call. I have been cleaning and trying to declutter my house. There is crap everywhere. I don't think of myself as a pack rat, but man, I seem to think I'm going to need every little piece of paper I come in contact with! Back to the subject, I came across a photo I had pulled out of an album and as I went to put it back, I saw the images of my best friend Julie and me looking thin, fit and healthy. The year was 1999. I was a comfortable size 8 and confident as ever. I want to turn back the clock!

Okay, I know that's not realistic, but if I did it then, I can do it now. Do I really need to be a size 8? Heck yeah! Why not? So I'm going to pull those pictures out of the book and put them where I can see them every day. I'm going to look ahead to this time next year when I'll be selling Zipperback Gloves (http://www.zipperbackgloves.com/) on QVC or HSN. More than anything, I want to feel good. I want to sleep well at night, wake up without back pain, and feel eager to start my day. I want to feel on the outside like I feel on the inside.

I'll post some of those pictures from 1999 this weekend so you can see the "before." The me I feel like I was meant to be and still can be. Let me know what you think!

I tried to crop this pic with no luck. Dave looks great standing next to his lovely-chubby wife.

Nothing new..."Great!" I know.

I'm stuck in bed (mostly) with my broken finger/hand. It sucks being down. Have you ever noticed how motivated you suddenly get when you physically can't work out? Yep, it sucks being stuck!

Drop me a line and share with me your great come-back story after an injury. Share your whole sad to happy tale. No really, I have time. Let me grab a cold drink and you'll have my undivided attention. Okay, so you hurt yourself how?

Go to www.themondaymotivator.blogspot.com for my ongoing saga.

Down But Not Out!

Okay, isn't this the way it goes in life? As soon as you find your mo-jo, you get thrown from your horse, break your finger and find yourself in bed for a week. Sheesh!

The good news is that I only gained back 2 pounds. I've been vigilant about what I'm eating since I'm not exercising and I plan to get back on my fitness plan this week, even if all I can do is walk. Onward and upward...or downward as the scale may show!

Another 1/2 lb and Counting!

172, Whoo-Hoo! I didn't take my measurements today as I'm not feeling great (see www.themondaymotivator.blogspot.com for details of yesterday's spill), but I'll take them next Monday.

In any case, the scale is still moving in the right direction!

On a Roll...

but not the bread kind! It seems I'm hanging in there and the food part it getting easier. Some of the things I'm doing are making a shake (SlimFast) for breakfast or a measured cup of raisin bran, eating at least one apple a day (high fiber you know!), and not eating past 8:00 PM.

My exercise is still not as consistent as I think it needs to be, but hey, step by step I'll get there. I'm feeling thinner and that helps keep me honest, too.

I bought a book that's very interesting. It's called Eat This, Not That by David Zinczenko. It gives you the better choice for the food you may want to choose. It covers almost all the fast food restaurants and grocery store categories. For example, in the 10 Top Swaps, it says for a burrito to eat the Taco Bell Regular Style Steak Burrito Supreme (390 calories/14g fat) instead of the Chipoltle Steak Burrito (1126 calories/45g fat). You'll save 736 calories and 31 grams of fat!

Of course, I'm counting calories so I'm not eating fast food, but when you have to, this is a handy reference tool to have. Check it out, well worth the $16!

Weigh in Day!

Good news, I weighed in today and was 172.5! Whoo-Hoo! That's 4 1/2 pounds down. Another 26 to go. My measurements went down as well.

I've been working really diligently this week, journaling my food and exercise. I exercised 4 days and was very strict about measuring my portions. It works, imagine that!

This is really good motivation, now all I have to do is get through this holiday barbecue without throwing it all to hell in a hand basket, and all will be well.

I'm back on track!

Okay, I've worked out all this week and been on the healthy eating plan. If I can keep this up long enough that it's not so dang hard, I bet I can shed these pounds.

I weighed in at 177 on Monday which is high for me. I'll weigh in again this coming Monday and I'm sure I will have lost a few pounds.

I'm sore as all get-out from restarting my exercise! I've been hiking the trails (mountainous) around our neighborhood, doing my Slim in 6 DVD, and today I did 31 minutes on the treadmill. 10 of those minutes I ran.

I think part of what's inspiring me, or motivating me is seeing my success (the success of our family really, but I'm likely to be the person facing the media) coming and not wanting to feel like everything I have to wear makes me look fat. I want to feel confident and comfortable when I see myself on the Rachael Ray show or The Big Idea on CNBC. I'll keep you posted, but if I can just keep my eye on the prize, the feeling good part, I can take this all the way down to the weight I know I can be!

Long Time, No Post.

It's been a while. I'm happy to report that I've started back on my exercise regimen and will keep making time for me and my good health.

I want to use this week to take advantage of Mason's school schedule and hold myself to the same standards I hold him to. I expect him to get up in time to have breakfast, get dressed, brush his teeth, and get to school on time. I need to keep me on a strong timeline like that as well.

It's Monday, I'm re-committing (I do that everyday, sometimes more than once!), and I'm going to succeed!

Feeling the Change

Do you know what I mean, when you feel a major change coming?

I have been struggling with getting my exercise program back on track, and reconciling my relationship with food. I can see myself running, I can see myself strength training, and yet, I don't follow through.

Today I realized that Mason is already a sugar addict! I'm not surprised, he loves candy and it's the be-all end-all of making your kid happy. It's the reward, the bribe, the treat, the celebration, the thing that makes whatever's bad good again, it's nearly everything! After Mason's third treat before 10 AM (one he snuck, one he found leftover in the car, and one was a freebie at a cash register), I about pulled my hair out, screaming inside my head, STOP! NO MORE CRAP FOOD!

I managed to keep my cool, but informed Mason we were going on a sugar/crap food diet. "What's a diet?" Mason asked. My reply was honest, "It's the way people eat. It can be a good, healthy diet or it can be a poor diet of crap food." "Oh, good!" Mason said, "We can eat sugar and crap food all the time!" Shit! I did that wrong. I thought. I went on to burst his bubble and let him know we were actually switching to a good diet, without sugar and crap food. "Ohhh, I want to do the other diet, the sugar diet."

Tough love. When Dave got home tonight I informed him of my plans. He got right on board! What a relief! It's so much easier when we're all on the same page. So today, I weighed 174 and I have had an excellent food day. Dave also exercised extreme will power when he got to work to find cake, cheesecake, pie, cookies, and more. I'm proud of him.

It seems we are feeling the winds of change blowing together, not unusual, Dave and I do that a lot! I'll keep you posted.

Food? Great! Exercise? Not So Great.

I seem to have found a rhythm that has me gravitating toward healthier foods. Being in a hotel for five days, I did pretty good, but now that we're home, I'm craving fresh fruit, salad, steamed veggies, and not so much of the sweet stuff.

I'm still failing miserably at getting by butt on the treadmill. I can see me doing it, I want to do it, and then I don't do it. It seems there is always something more important. I know there is nothing more important than my health and happiness, but getting errands run, or taking the call from the patent attorney, or taking Mason to a movie seem more important in the moment. I'll keep working on this because in all my years of weight up, weight down, I know I'll find my way back to my treadmill!

A New Space

I'm in a really cool space right now. I'm making healthier food choices, and not obsessing about wanting crap food.

I'm not exercising as much as I know I could be, but oddly, that's not freaking me out either. I really want to be comfortable with who I am right now, and make good choices for this very moment.

I'm not sure exactly when the shift took place, but I'm so glad it did. I even bought a set of Pilate's DVD's because it settles me down, and helps me focus on right now, and visualizing my future. Sounds pretty airy-fairy, or maybe for the first time, sensible.

It's Saturday, It's a New Day!

I have been able to take my mind off of weight and food the last couple of days, and frankly, it felt good.

I didn't meet my exercise goals this week, but I think part of that has been my trying to take my mind off the whole process. The good news is that I'm feeling way more motivated and in the game. I went to an energy healing class yesterday and it was awesome! So today, here is what I have on my agenda:

• Eat lots of veggies today.
• Make fruity iced tea as a healthy cocktail.
• Buy a good yoga video (my class is on hiatus until September).
• Plan our family meals for the week using local produce in season.
• Go to the farmers market and shop for our food for the week.

My new attitude is to approach this week with an attitude of health and love for my body. I will nourish my family with fresh, wholesome food and treat all of us with love, patience, and understanding.

Stress Overload

I was awakened this morning with a phone call from Citi Bank about our credit card account being in collections...missed payment...terms changed...minimum payment due $1356.04! "What! There's no way, I pay our bills...on time...religiously..." Is my now wide awake reply.

After I caught my breath and went pee, I went on line to see what the heck was going on. $456 of that minimum payment is finance charges, and the rest of the amount is what is due with the new interest rate of 26.99%. Of course I called and got as far as I could until Dave needed to call. I had to call him while he is on vacation and have him handle this, which made me feel even worse. Apparently, there was an issue with my scheduled on line payment and it wasn't paid. They put our terms back the way they were, we made the payment, and they are reviewing whether or not they will reverse the $456 in finance charges.

All this said, I am feeling an incredible urge to take Mason out to eat crap food. I have instead eaten a measured cup of raisin bran with 1/2 a banana, and a handful of cherries. While I wanted to keep eating, I am here instead. Hopefully writing about what I'm feeling will distract me long enough for the destructive urge to pass. I'll let you know, but in the meantime here is my favorite affirmation: "In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete. I am exactly where I need to be, doing what I need to do, learning what I need to learn. All is well in my world."

I feel better already.

Weigh In Day

I weighed in this morning at 171 lbs. This is a few pounds up from my recent loss of 13lbs, but hey, it's a work in progress and will always be something a little up, or a little down.

I'm 5'-51/2" tall and some BMI indexes classify me as obese. They say I should weigh 135-145 lbs. Realistically, the only time I weighed 135lbs was when I was using illegal drugs back in the 80's. Yes, I had a four year stint in my life when I made some really poor decisions. Those days are long gone and so is any hope of weighing 135 lbs. I guess that's not a good attitude, I probably could weigh that again, but I have to ask myself if I'm willing to do what that will take without the speed. For now, I'm aiming for 150-155.

Today was a very stressful day. For a number of reasons, I've been experiencing some severe anxiety attacks (money issues being primary), and this would've been prime time to overeat. I did not. I had a low-cal healthy breakfast, lunch out, but a good choice, a low-cal measured portion for dinner, and a piece of cake for Ken's birthday. I expressed my anxiety through 3 glasses of wine. Hey, the wine is not the best answer, but it could have been an entire binge day, with that said, I'm taking the win.

Bravely, here are my current "before" pictures. My initial goal is to lose 20 lbs. I did 3 miles on the treadmill yesterday, along with abs and some strength training. Today I did upper body strength training. Tomorrow, at least 3 miles on the treadmill and strength training. What are you doing to reach your fitness or weight loss goals?

Before Pictures

June 10, 2008 - Before pictures

What I Know

I know I have to eat very consciously.
I have to be very aware of what I'm eating and why.
I love sugar & sweets, and I eat when I'm stressed.
I have to plan my meals and follow through.
I need accountability and that's why I'm blogging.
I know I have to exercise intentionally and religiously.
I am not one of those people who can exercise and eat anything I want and the reverse is true as well. I cannot simply watch what I eat without exercising and lose weight. I have to do both, intentionally and mindfully.
I know calories count, as do fat grams, sugar, and sodium.
With exercise, my heart rate needs to be in the fat burning zone when doing cardio, and strength training is equally important.
This is what I know.

Starting with Weight Loss

I need to lose weight. I really want to be fit and feel good. I'm just like every other person who struggles with their weight and I know what I have to do. I'm a purist in that I believe you have to eat less (or eat WAY better) and exercise more. Move more! Intentional exercise is critical, even more important than intentional eating. This week I'm going to:

Post some pictures of me at my thinnest and my heaviest in the last 10 years.
Name my goals.
List my plan for reaching my goals.
And invite you to join me on this journey.

Let's get started and succeed together! Intention is cause, and as Yoda said, "Do or do not, there is no try."